Erin brought it up and it makes me wonder what else I don’t know. This is what my innocent ears look like:
Nope, never been pierced. I used to think I was going to DIE if I couldn’t get my ears pierced, but I wasn’t allowed to get them pierced until I turned 16. And I certainly wasn’t going to pierce them myself with a safety pin. Learned that lesson from my sister, Staci. So I waited {im}patiently until I turned 16 and then had no desire to get them pierced. no desire. Not sure if it’s because I was too lazy or scared of the pain or just comfortable with myself [hardly- at 16] or probably just because it seemed like a lot of work. or maybe i just forgot. But I never got them pierced. And I don’t regret it one bit. I like my plain ears.
But now I’m in a predicament. I have promised Elli that she could make that decision for herself when she turns 12. which is in 2 weeks. And I have just been made aware that I don’t know the slightest thing about earring etiquette. Is there really a size that is appropriate for adults and not for pre-teens? What are the hoochie earrings? I knew I was simple in my beauty secrets, but I had no idea I was this clueless.
Don’t I look hot in them? Damon thinks I look like a pirate. I guess they’re not for me.
I think Elli has a friend who is not allowed to wear large hoop earrings until she is a certain age, but I always figured it was because they were dangerous and you could rip your ear off with them if you weren’t careful. I assumed since these earrings were clip-on, they were fine. But now I have been informed that it is the size/scale of the earring in relation to the age of the wearer that makes it appropriate. so confused.
In all seriousness, please share your rules/guidelines for appropriate jewelry for a 12-year-old, particularly of the earring-variety.
P.S. Erin- no offense taken by your comment or meant in this post. You aren’t the only one who noticed the earrings; just the only one who said something. So- thanks for the nudge to educate myself [and my daughter]. :)
arrr, me matey ... okay, i have pierced ears {18th birthday ... what's the deal with that, mom?} and apparently am not "clued-in" to this topic {there's such thing as earring etiquette?}. i like hoop earrings in other people, but i think i look ridiculous in them so i don't wear them {not because i'm choosing to not be a hoochie}. also, it does make my stomach turn to think of one of my children ripping those right out of my ear. i'll pass, thank you. i think elli looks cute - but i guess if there is an unspoken meaning behind what type of earring you wear then that should overrule the fashion of it. wish i could be more help.
ReplyDeleteand i don't really want to make a big deal about it so i'll just post a small sidenote here - who reads comments anyway, right? i might have my 16th follower ... just saying. {completely unsolicited, btw}
ReplyDeleteI am right there with you. Although I adore earrings now, Elli is light-years ahead of where I was at her age. Probably for better. So, make your own rules. Personally, my girls aren't going to be allowed to look cute until they leave for college (they'll have braces, big thick glasses, dumpy clothes). Wouldn't that be nice. It's probably never a comfortable thing to slowly let them grow up and change into young women.
ReplyDeletep.s. I have to admit I did notice Elli's earrings at the ward activity and, well. She looked mature. :)
I say you can suggest they are too big for her face, but if she really wants to wear them, let her. You can insist on modest clothes, but let her earrings be a vehicle for self-expression. I made some really horrible fashion decisions when I was twelve (and thirteen, and eleven, and fourteen, and ten....) and remember my mom telling me she thought those decisions weren't the greatest (like, she was on my case for like a year to brush my hair, and I just wanted to use a pic), but she let me do them and I was happy for that.
ReplyDeleteI never really thought about rules for earrings. But I'm thinking it's good for girls to look their age to prevent older boys from giving them unwanted attention.
ReplyDelete:)
I would stick to posts. I mean I always thought it was dangerous and they look kind of like a hooker would wear them. SOrry to anyone that wears them that big. But seriously, if you are going to hang laundry to dry on them GREAT. You won't won't be going anywhere while they dry so it is perfectly acceptable. Otherwise my vote is no. Age appropriate....and don;t let her get a second set. My mom let me and I hate it! I begged her. Now I have 2 hole in both ears. I hate it. Of course i only wear one pair. What do you mean Brooke, the best commentary is in the comments. I love it!
ReplyDeleteI had to wait until I was twelve for a lot of things...like shaving, makeup, and wearing pantyhose. My Mom, however, let me get my ears pierced when I was 10. I so desperately wanted earrings, that I let my Mom do the act. Let me tell you, the process was long and painful, but once the first ear was pierced, I had to follow through with the second. I guess I was pretty much traumatized by that experience, so I decided to get all my girls ears pierced when they were babies, so they wouldn't have to go through the pain and anxiety that I went through. I definitely have told them no earrings that hang below the earlobe. We usually stick to small. Now that they are getting older (Madison basically), I will let her wear a delicate dangly earring if she'd want, but nothing too out there. In my mind's eye, I can see a way older teenager wearing the big hoops, but I'm with Emily as far as letting her decide how she wears makeup, clothes(as long as modest), hair, and yes earrings, now that she's twelve. I'm glad my mother let me make my own fashion decisions for the most part, especially since she was so strict with other things. I felt this allowed me to have some freedom, and I guess her philosophy was "choose your battles". She definitely controlled my dating and extra curricular activities, but gave me the freedom to express myself through wardrobe, ect. I don't however, think I could resist the urge to nicely "advise" my daughters about something I think is way out there, but for the most part, I would let them choose. Good luck. :)
ReplyDeleteThe bigger and fancier the earrings, the older the girl looks, or just wants to look, for sure. It is one of those "pick your battles" things that Emily and others have mentioned. My mom wanted me to wear lipstick for years, and I refused. She still loved me though.
ReplyDeletethere's no right or wrong. our rule is nothing that dangles to school. Nothing too flashy at church. (but it can dangle...a little). But Piper is 7. And i swear that Brandi got her earing ripped out of her ear. she says that she didn't, but because of me "remembering" that, the rule is no dangles at school. You've got me thinking now...
ReplyDeleteWow. I had no idea my comment about her earrings would spark such a big discussion. Hmmm.... I honestly dont know what to say. so here are my thoughts and you can take them how you'd like.
ReplyDelete1. "hoochie earrings" - the earrings don't make you hoochie, so it's not like it's a disease. You can wear hoochie earrings without being a hoochie... but you also have to be aware that some people will judge you accordingly and they may think you are a hoochie even when you're not.
2. I really liked Emily's comment about requiring her to wear modest clothing but letting her use earrings as a way to express herself, and accesorize. Maybe there will be some earings that you dont approve of, but I don't think having a specific size allowability would help. Because if you say for example that she can't have anything over 2 inches... then all earings will be around the 2 inch size, but if you dont have any size limitation then she'll have various sizes but not feel as much that she needs to press the limits. Does that make sense?
3. From a practical stand point, rather than the parenting/rule type stand point, you may want to have her start out with post earrings or more simple earings at first. They will tell her she has to have the original posts in for a few weeks or something until her ears heal, but she might want to wear more simple earrings for a few months after that, because big earrings can be heavy and her ears wont be ready for that. Plus she needs a few months to get used to properly caring for her ears and making sure they dont get infected.
4. Good luck. I'm sure you'll figure things out. You're a good mom and things are different for each child. I'm sure you'll figure out what is best for Elli.