as difficult as it was for me to see calvin’s tiny casket, ray was even more disturbed and confused.
in fact, he was so confused that he spent the entire memorial service whispering questions in my ear about what was happening. some of the questions he wanted answers to:
can i see calvin?
where is calvin right now?
how did he get inside the white box?
who drove him from the hospital to “this church” (the cemetery)?
why are we going to put him in that hole?
how do you KNOW calvin is inside that box?
does he know that i drew him a picture?
does he like my picture?
are you going to put me in a box like that when i die?
when am i going to die?
i don’t want you to put me in a box like that when i die.
are you going to be in a box like that when you die, mom?
how are we going to fit you inside a small box like that?
why are they going to put dirt on top of calvin’s box?
can i watch them put calvin’s box inside the ground?
why are we putting calvin in the ground?
will we come back here to see calvin?
is everybody at “this church” because of calvin?
why is everybody crying?
why can’t i take the flowers off the flat rocks (headstones)?
why are we leaving calvin here?
i don’t want to die, mom.
i miss calvin.
so do i, ray. so do i.
The sweetness and innocence of a 5 year old to ask all of life's hard questions.
ReplyDeleteSuch an adorable child. Such raw/real questions. What a kid.
ReplyDeleteWhat a mom. What a family. :)
oh what a sweet boy. he's so lucky to have a great mom who takes time to answer all of those tough questions.
ReplyDeleteSuch hard questions to answer. Touching, but very heartbreaking too. I can't imagine grief without the knowledge that we will live again.
ReplyDeletecalvin and ray are both in great hands with amy. i know i keep saying this, but i'm truly grateful i could be here this week. it has been amazing.
ReplyDeleteOh what a sweet boy!
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine how hard it must be for a little child to understand all this. It's hard enough for adults. I'm sure you'll get those same questions for a long time.
ReplyDeleteTake it day by day.
Nanny and I cried as I read this post aloud. Reading the words aloud were so much more powerful. I'm glad he was old enough to voice his questions, and not just behave badly to make sense of this.
ReplyDeleteI'm so thankful that the sun peeked out for that day.
oh sweet ray. So many questions for such a young boy. I think answering the questions will help you get through your own emotions and questions without even realizing that it is helping. It is nce that our kids can teach us through their own learning process. Looked like a beautiful service. Let us know how we can help. Lots of Love.
ReplyDeleteray does look so handsome~
ReplyDelete