Ray at nine.point.five

I go back and forth between being worried at the thought of a crazy, questioning, avoiding teenaged Ray and being comforted by thoughts of a sweet, sensitive, shy teenaged Ray.  He is kind of a mixed bag.  He can be very frustrating because it's nearly impossible to pin him down to get anything done, but he is also the sweetest, most sensitive kid I have. 

When I think of Ray, several words come to mind: 

• crazy
• he's crazy.  he attempts stunts that i'd rather not know about.  he belongs in the circus.  he can do multiple variations of the back flip on the trampoline, he rides a unicycle, he climbs on the roof, he flat out scares me.  but, of any of my kids, I also trust his skills the most.  I don't necessarily trust his judgment, but i'm confident he could do most anything he attempted.
• physical
• this kid needs physical activity.  he is biking, running, jumping, flipping, wrestling, skate-boarding, GOING all. day. long.  he loves to walk to school (only kid so far that turns down a ride to school) and the only evidence I have that he is home from school is that his backpack is usually right smack in the middle of the entry way.  he doesn't mind rain or snow or sleet or hail.  he is usually outside doing something regardless of how cold he is or how wet he's getting.  and if he's not, he's driving us crazy inside. 
• energetic
• he's tired and slow-moving in the morning, but he has a lot of energy otherwise.  he would prefer to stay up later, but he crashes pretty quickly when he's forced to go to bed.  his body must be so relieved when I finally force him to go to bed
• reader
• this kid loves to read.  or be read to.  it's taken him a couple years to really take off with reading, but this is his year.  he has finally broken away from reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid books over and over and is reading actual books right now.  there isn't a night that goes by that he doesn't ask Damon or me to read to him.  His current series he is reading is the Heroes of Olympus by Rick Riordan.  They are way over my head (and pronunciation level), but he seems to know exactly what's going on and is engaged the entire time he's being read to.  Damon is usually the one who ends up reading to him; I love that Ray has forced that routine on us. 
• soft-spoken
• ray is a mumbler, particularly in a new situation.  this is the one consistent weakness that comes up in every parent-teacher conference:  Ray needs to speak up.  we are working on this, but sometimes I feel like i'm perpetuating the problem because I get frustrated when I can't understand him and I lay into him about speaking more clearly and getting his hands away from his face. 
• questioning
• for as soft-spoken as he is , he can ask some pretty bold questions. from why we have to go to church every Sunday to why he has to do "all the work" around the house to when will Grandpa Ray and Calvin be alive again?  sometimes his questions make me pause and sometimes his questions make me worried he's going to be a disrespectful teenager.
• sensitive
• he doesn't take criticism well.  and can easily end up in tears.  and then move quickly to sobbing.  and then mumbling.  sometimes he get upset over something as little as being asked to do a chore that he doesn't want to do, but he also is very sensitive about serious things that seem to come up out of the blue.  grandpa ray, calvin, and Jesus Christ's crucifixion are all sensitive topics that can quickly lead to a meltdown.
• adventurous
• I like to think this is the trait he got from my dad.  he does what he wants.  one day last summer, he found an old tire in our backyard (no idea where that came from) and he asked if he could make a tire swing with it.  at first, I was like "no way; it's not going to work.  you can't just take a tire and make a tire swing out of it.  it's not that simple."  but then I realized he wasn't asking for help, he was just asking for permission to use the tire.  so I told him it was fine.  and he actually made a tire swing.  that we still have in use today. 
• strong
• he is strong.  much stronger than me.  if I let him play football, I'm sure he would be great at it.  i'm so glad he's never asked.
• athletic
• every sport he's tried, he's excelled at.  he is just a natural.  he is ridiculously fast, he has great stamina, awesome hand-eye coordination, and a quick strategic mind.  I was a little sad this spring when he told me he wanted to take a break from playing sports because he didn't like "having to be somewhere".  I love watching him play sports.  I have a smile on my face the whole time. 
• musical
• as i'm writing all this down, I am realizing how talented my son is.  he has so many natural abilities that he just amazes me with.  I am in awe of his ability to listen to a song- any song, walk over to the piano and plunk it out.  almost without error.  he has never taken piano lessons, but he can play songs from the radio, music from video games, hymns he is learning in primary, songs from movies.  it is incredible.  I really, really love to hear him downstairs figuring something out by trial and error.  this is something he tends to do on Sundays when I send him out of the room over and over because he's being too crazy and physical.  I'm happy he has an outlet that doesn't require being physical.
• shy
• he is naturally shy, but once he's comfortable, that (mostly) goes away.  he is still a little quiet and awkward in group settings, but he seems to have an appropriate balance of interacting and being reserved
• annoying
• once you move past the shyness, he can be downright annoying.  haha.  Nolan can testify to this.  if he wants attention, he can be in your face and pestering non-stop. 
• avoider
• oh man, he is an avoider.  next to Elli, he is the worst offender for not doing something I asked him to do.  I am constantly coming across (undone) things that I asked him to do.  Since he's usually at school or outside with his gang, i have a hard time following through with him.  his most frequently "forgotten jobs" are putting his backpack away, unloading the dishwasher, putting his dirty socks in the laundry basket (how many pairs of socks can a boy own?!!), and showering. 
• snacker
• he is not a big meal-eater, but he snacks all day.  i think it's mostly because eating a meal requires being still for a certain amount of time.  snacking can be done on-the-go.  luckily, he eats fairly healthy stuff for snacks like spoonfuls of peanut butter and protein bars, and fruit
• loyal
• ray is a good friend.  he is loyal and sticks up for his friends if someone is being mean to them or talking about them.  he is loyal to me.  i can tell by the way he looks at me sometimes that he genuinely loves and appreciates me.  he seems to have a tender place in his heart for me, as his mother.  i love that about him. 

right now in his life, doing things with his friends is his favorite pastime.  even though several of his friends are older than him, he seems to be a leader and has lots of different types of friends.  on top of riding his bike, jumping on the trampoline, playing BUMP at the junior high, playing tag and other games in and around our backyard and street, he also loves to play Terraria and Minecraft on the Xbox, build Legos, build forts, play with and pester Madsen, make bracelets on his rainbow loom, make lemonade and shaved ice and smoothies and scrambled eggs (messes), and leave his dirty socks everywhere

he prefers to do his homework in the morning before school when he is all alone and doesn't have to give up precious daylight with his friends after school. 

Every time i see Ray's bare feet (sometime after he's removed his dirty socks and left them somewhere for me to find after he's unavailable), I think of my brother Chad because they both have ridiculously thick and long toenails.  haha.

he has adorable freckles across the bridge of his nose.  i notice them every morning at breakfast.  i love those freckles!

his laugh is adorable.  he shrugs his shoulders and scrunches his head down in a way that makes it look like he has no neck.  and then lets out a loud laugh.  usually over something that nobody else thought was funny.  :)

my favorite thing about Ray is that he makes me feel needed as his mother.  Having my children recognize that they need me is equivalent to me feeling loved.  Ray makes me feel loved.