rant with no rave

i hate when businesses offer specials or discounts to attract customers…and then get annoyed when people, such as myself, take advantage of said offers.  if it bugs you when people utilize your “kids eat free” deal, then don’t offer it. 

something else i hate is when i am judged right off the bat at a restaurant.  it happens all the time when damon and i are out.  the minute we don’t order {alcoholic} drinks it’s an instant blow to the waiter, but then when we ask for water (of all beverage choices!), he’s all but given up on us as real customers.  likewise, when we go to a restaurant with our 5 kids in tow, and the waiter is just plain put-out that he has to wait on us.  like he just expects our table to be a nightmare before he’s even seen that our kids are perfectly capable of eating at a restaurant (sometimes).  i hate that attitude.  it doesn’t make for a very pleasant dining experience. 

for anyone.

last night, i braved the restaurant scene with my 5 kids…and no husband.  why?  it was kids eat free night at a local restaurant.  2 free kids’ meals with each adult entree.  perfect- since elli orders from the regular menu now and that left 4 “free children”. 

we rarely go out to eat as a family of seven.  it’s just too expensive.  so it takes a deal like this to convince me it might be worth the money to dine out.  i did all the right things:  i called ahead to make sure this restaurant was still offering this promotion.  i made sure it was 2 free kids’ meals per one adult entree.  i made sure the restaurant wasn’t very busy. 

and then i loaded up my 5 hungry kiddos and dined out.

only it didn’t go as i’d hoped.  {does it ever?} 

right off the bat, the waiter was put-out that we were even there.  one adult and 5 kids?  come on.  and then, just as i anticipated, completely abandoned us when we all ordered…water.

everything went fine for our meal.  the kids acted just fine.  we didn’t leave a huge mess.  the food was mediocre.  ray ordered (kraft) macaroni and cheese, but was confused as to why it tasted so bad.  i tried it and he was right:  it tasted bad.  that’s what happens when you substitute margarine for butter:  bad food. 

i was already wondering in my head how i was going to tip.  i’m usually a solid 20%+ tipper.  even when our service is bad, we usually tip above the customary 15%.  but i was really feeling like our waiter didn’t even deserve the 15%.  but how could i not tip him the 15% when we got free kids’ meals, for crying out loud?  that was the dilemma i was in while i watched my kids get impatient as each of them hit their limit of food and patience for this place.

and then we sat and waited for 10 more minutes for the waiter to bring us our bill.  [it’s hard to tell when one of your tables is ready for the bill when you never come back to check on them.]  when he finally did come to our table, i asked him for our bill because we were ready to leave.  he told me he would get it for me.  and then proceeded to bus our table.  picking up each of our 6 plates and painstakingly scraping off all the leftovers onto one plate (not even bothering to ask if we wanted to box it up) and balancing the heavy load all the way up his arm- as if to show me how much work it was to wait on our table.  believe me, i know. i do it three times a day. 

after he’d cleared our table, he brought back our bill.  he set it on the table and quickly walked away.  which i thought was strange.  {in retrospect, i think  he was anticipating what i was about to react to.  which is even more annoying.}  when i opened up the bill, i noticed immediately that i had been charged for 2 of the 4 kids’ meals.  i was confused.  i had specifically asked if one paid adult entree netted 2 free kids’ meals.  and i’d read the fine print on the bottom of the kids’ menu: what’s there to be confused about?

so i get our waiter’s attention and ask him why i got charged for 2 kids’ meals.  to which he responds:  “there are only select kids’ meals that you can choose for free.  it’s shows them on the menu.”

me:  “it does?  i read the kids’ menu top to bottom.  it didn’t say anything about having to choose a specific kids’ meal for it to be free.”

waiter (pointing to the rainbow highlighted kids’ meals): “the highlighted ones are the ones you can choose for free.  that’s why they’re highlighted”

me:  “i noticed that some of them were different colors and thought it was odd {and tacky}, but i just thought you were trying to make your menu festive.  you should say {in words} somewhere on the menu that you have to choose specific items.”

waiter:  “it does.  that’s why the KIDS EAT FREE MONDAYS is highlighted, too.”

me:  “and i’m just supposed to make that assumption that just because there are some random things highlighted in different, non-related colors that that means i have to order those specific kids’ meals as part of the kids eat free offer?  that’s really confusing.  i think that’s something you should have pointed out verbally to me or have it printed on your menu.  that’s ridiculous.”

waiter:  “you should have asked if you were confused.”

me:  “but i wasn’t confused because your menu clearly states that kids eat free on mondays and that the exclusions to this are that there is no drink or dessert provided with a kids meal.  why would i think there was some other exclusion?”

waiter:  “because it’s highlighted.”

me:  “again, i think that’s lame.  i’m going to speak to the manager.”

and then i gathered up my brood and marched right up to the register and asked to speak to the manager. 

who happened to be my waiter.

we battled it out some more.  elli begged to go out to the car because i “always embarrass her” whenever we go to a restaurant. wha?  damon would have gone out to the car with her if he was there.  this isn’t a side of me he’s comfortable with.

and i am beyond annoyed now because my kids are running around the lobby and i’m trying to work this out.  i was so frustrated that i actually considered walking out without paying any of my bill.  but i was pretty sure that was illegal and i was positive nolan would have noticed and held me accountable. 

at the end of our dining experience, the “manager” refunded the additional 2 kids’ meals and, with a very condescending tone, explained that this was a “one-time-only exception.  but the next time you come in---”

um , stop right there, mr. manager/waiter/{drop-out} college student…

do you really think there’s going to be a next time? 

surely you want that to happen about as badly as i want that to happen right now. 

please tell me i’m not the only one who runs into these kinds of dilemmas where people make you feel like a complete loser for taking them up on a good deal.