i hate soggy.
like really hate soggy.
i go to great lengths to avoid soggy.
usually i just avoid things and combinations that sog. i prefer a dry sandwich to a soggy sandwich with mayo. i refuse to buy a “pre-made” sandwich. disgust. when i store leftovers, i store everything separately so there is little chance of some sauce touching something else.
but i really love the cereal/milk combo. in order to satisfy my pleasure for eating dry cereal with milk, i have a process:
- i pour a limited amount of cereal in to a bowl (not too much because it will get soggy too quickly). i’ll just add more as i eat it. that way it can stay dry as long as possible before it meets the milk’s doom.
- i get a spoon.
- i go to the bathroom.
- i make sure all the children are taken care of and that i will have at least 4 minutes to eat my entire bowl of cereal before somebody needs something from me.
- i mentally prepare myself to not accidentally answer the phone after i’ve poured the milk into the bowl and the soggy experiment ensues.
- i quickly assess the situation to make sure item numbers one through four are taken care of.
- with anxiety in my heart, i pour the milk on top of the cereal, quickly grab my spoon, and start eating.
- if anyone interrupts me before the last piece of cereal has been rescued from the sea of milk, i panic and get really annoyed.
- i add more cereal to the milk as time allows.
- if anything happens to disturb this process, the soggy cereal gets dumped into the sink and the process starts over.
so it is with disturbing awareness and shock that my husband goes to great lengths to do quite the opposite.
he:
- showers
- gets mostly ready
- goes downstairs to pour himself a ridiculously large bowl of cereal (not accounting for the fact that he is about to add milk to it that will make it overflow)
- adds milk
- cleans up the overflowing mess.
- goes back upstairs to finish up some details while his bowl of cereal sits and soggifies (surely that should be a word) to the point of unrecognizable disintegration in his bowl.
- returns and smiles at my disgust.
- and enjoys his bowl of cereal (if you can still call it that) just as much as i enjoyed mine.
it should be a crime.
Surely, a bowl of cereal should not cause this much anxiety! I prefer mine on the dry side, too, but there are certain cereals I like to let sit in the milk for just a moment so they won't break my teeth. Grapenuts and Just Bunches fall into that category. All super-sugared cereals should be eaten immediately after the milk is added or they turn into a slimy mess. But, really, I know no one that prepares to eat a bowl of cereal quite as carefully as you do, Amy. My son avoids all that by taking his cereal dry with milk on the side.
ReplyDeleteI am the same way. I eat my cereal fast so that it stays crispy. I thought I saw an invention for this on that show Billy Mayes(not sure how to spell his name) had before he died....you should look into it!
ReplyDeleteMy husband has a similar problem with letting his food sit...he starts doing something else and comes back to cold food. Men.....they are so funny!
I'm with you. My solution - two mugs - one with cereal, one with milk. One spoonful of cereal in mouth - take a swig of milk. repeat! :)
ReplyDeleteSorry Damon, but your way makes me gag! Dry heaving just thinking about it. Amy's way all the way.
ReplyDeleteYou just described Devin and I perfectly. I honestly can't stand it when Devin walks away from a just poured bowl of cereal... it makes me sick. I on the other hand won't answer my phone and or anything else when I'm eating cereal. (I made Gavin.. who is potty training again.. hold it while I finished my cereal 2 days ago.. mean mom)
ReplyDeleteI guess that makes Damon a "cereal killer"...nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.
ReplyDeleteThis post made me slightly less nauseous than the bread pudding one. But I have to agree that Grape Nuts need to soak, otherwise they're about as easy to chew as gravel.
ReplyDeleteewww. i'm a fan of the non-soggy as well. my frosted mini-wheats get placed in my cereal bowl one at a time for that very reason. obnoxious. but un-soggy and that's all that matters.
ReplyDeleteHey, that's not my bowl of cereal featured in the picture! From the looks of that plastic spoon, my money's on Ray. Now there's a kid who knows how to make soggy cereal.
ReplyDeleteWow, your description made cold cereal sound divine! I'm not a huge fan of cold cereal myself, but after reading your blog, I found myself craving a bowl- just what is your favorite, anyways?
ReplyDeleteWe are twins separated at birth. So are our husbands.
ReplyDeleteSoggify is a word. And inbetween is one word. ;) I'm really smart - trust me.
ReplyDelete;)
amy, you know i am with you on the anti-soggy campaign. the solution is NO MILK. have your dry cereal with a glass of orange juice on the side. or milk. dry is so good!
ReplyDeleteI'm totally with you. I've gone to granola bars for the time being because I know I can never finish a bowl of cereal before it gets soggy. And I'm still trying to convince my husband that we should have cereal for dinner at least once a week.
ReplyDeleteAfter seeing that picture, I need to buy some Captain Crunch Berries.
I like the carefully orchestrated cereal eating process you go through. You are clearly a woman devoted to a positive cereal experience. Give me a pop-tart any day to avoid all of THAT. :)
ReplyDelete