Mundane Monday

My laptop is "in the shop".  I feel a little naked without it.  I am happy to have another device to use in the meantime. 
but it doesn't have windows live writer installed
and it's not a touchscreen.  oh man do I miss my touchscreen.  using a cursor seems prehistoric to me. 
and I don't have access to my pictures.
and it's not "my laptop"

I'm dealing.

While I have plenty of things in my life to be disappointed in myself about (and that list is what my thoughts are naturally drawn to when I'm browsing my brain for blogging ideas), I have been thinking about some things that I've actually made intentional progress in.

1. I have committed to go to the gym with Emma twice a week (baby steps), and I am holding my end of the bargain.  This is huge for me.  I absolutely HATE going to the gym, but I'M DOING IT!  I'm getting sweaty and stuff.  While I can't say it's making me feel energetic and productive, the very thought that I've committed to something- and I'm doing it- gives me those same benefits so it's OK.  baby steps
2. I have been making dinners again for my family.  I'm not sure when, but somewhere over the last couple of years, I kind of just stopped making dinner regularly and it would stress me out every single day to even think about it.  I have gotten to the point where I've worked that back in to my day and it feels good.
3. I've read several books lately and even recently joined a book club again.  yay me!  the book that I'm "reading" right now (but actually haven't even started) is RENT COLLECTOR.  I've heard it's great.  and now that I'll be without my laptop for a couple weeks, it'll probably get some attention soon.
4. I have been thinking about breakfast and lunches the day before and getting as much prep done as possible to simplify my mornings.  This has been huge.  It is the best feeling ever to go to bed knowing that i have a plan for breakfast, that the ovens are set to pre-heat before my alarm even goes off and that the next day's lunches are complete .  It's been a while since I've been this efficient in the kitchen (or anywhere).
5. I have been making a concerted effort to keep the kitchen clean on a more regular basis.  Mostly, I am trying to keep all dirty dishes off my counters (and in the right side of the sink, ready to easily load) so it appears cleaner than it really is. This makes cleaning the kitchen seem so much more doable and I'm more likely to do it rather than feel overwhelmed by dishes on the table and the island and the counters and everywhere but the dishwasher.
6. I'm trying to keep my nightstand generally clear.  This one's hard because the reason my nightstand is overworked is because things get set there when I'm tired (because I'm usually sitting in my bed if I'm putting something on my nightstand).  Tired is my enemy.

ha.  I'm dying to belt out my list of things that are killing me that I just can't seem to make any progress in, motivation or otherwise.  but I will be good to myself. and refrain. 

my kids are getting old

Today was Nolan's last day in primary.  My stomach just dropped a little more after officially typing that sentence.

In our primary, we have a special sharing time dedicated to the child who is leaving Primary on their last Sunday.  In fun game-show fashion, it is an opportunity for them to recite each of the 13 Articles of Faith in front of the entire primary (if they choose to; each child is asked before-hand if they'd like to do it).  Today was Nolan's turn.  And, as a member of our primary presidency, I happened to be the one in charge of sharing time this month so I got to prepare his special sharing time and do it with him.

Nolan constantly amazes me.  Even though he's had the Articles of Faith memorized for years, it still just made me so proud to hear him answer questions about them, understand their meanings, and recite them word for word.  He will be such a fabulous addition to the deacon's quorum and young men's program and missionary field.  I am thrilled to watch him mature and grow up, but just a little sad to "lose" him to adolescence and all that that encompasses. 

As I was sending him to bed just now he told me he wants me to start waking him up earlier "so he can get used to getting up early for seminary".  He's a 6th-grader.  Seminary is 3 years away.  He is full of this kind of awesomeness.

-----------------------------------

Today I also watched the Women's Broadcast with Elli and Emma.  It was incredible.  I particularly enjoyed the spontaneity of Sister Wixom's talk when she asked the primary-aged girls to stand and start singing Teach Me To Walk In The Light and then had the older girls/women sing the 2nd verse.  That was really incredible to me for some reason.  I also really loved the video clips that were shown.

It wasn't that long ago that my girls were little.  And, watching those video clips, the parts I connected with were the stages of life that showed the young women getting married in the temple and starting their own families.  Right now in these very difficult teenage years with my girls, there is nothing I want more than to be there for them as they make righteous choices in their lives.  I would love for them to serve missions and be married in the temple and be good mothers and wives.  It's really just right around the corner.  It's all happening so fast.  These years seem to go by faster than the "little years".  How can that be?

-------------------------------------

Today, like most Sundays, I am eager to be a better mother.  a better example.  a better listener. 
because my window as a parent seems to be rapidly closing. 

that would have been helpful

to know yesterday:

that Madsen hurt his knee while he was jumping on the trampoline with Ray yesterday.

 

to know this morning:

that Madsen was irrational and cranky and whiny and wanting to be held non-stop and asking for a “sticker” to put on his knee
because his knee hurt,
not because he was so hungry from me letting him choose between eating what I made for dinner (NOT Cheezits, like he was demanding) and going straight to bed last night.  He chose going straight to bed…at 6:15 (guilt trip)

 

to recognize before 4 o’clock (when my doctor’s office will be closing within the hour):

that Madsen has been refusing to put any weight on his left leg and gingerly scooting around for the past several hours

 

to know before spending a couple hundred dollars at Urgent Care:

that on our way out of the doctor’s office,
Madsen can run to push the button for the elevator and jump when we “land” on the main floor
just fine. 

it’s been a fun day.

kitty love

every time I pull up my sky drive to look through my cell phone pictures, these are the first pictures that load; they are the oldest pictures on my phone.

Madsen is probably about 6 months old.  And he adored the cats.  Adored as in smothered the cats.  He would often crawl over to them and literally lay on top of Ozzy until she wrangled out from underneath him and moved a few feet away, only to be rediscovered by Madsen moments later.  I couldn’t believe how patient our cats were with the crazy baby that would follow them around and pull their tails and lay on top of them and poke their eyes.  It was quite amazing. 

I don’t have a picture of this, but something I distinctly remember from when Mads was an infant is that Ozzy would come and lay down next to him (and brush her tail over his face repeatedly) almost every time I changed his diaper.  For someone who is openly NOT an animal-lover, this was strangely sweet to me.  The cats were actually bonding with my baby. 

I’m not sure what happened between then and now (probably a lot of bad exampling on my part), but Madsen is constantly ordering the cats to go away these days.  I guess the kitty love was good while it lasted. 

this guy

is so much fun. 

is ridiculously smart.

smothers me with kisses and “I like you’s” all day (right up until dad walks in the door)

is delightfully independent.

can’t get enough of watching videos of himself on my phone.

gives the best hugs

has the softest kissable, squeezable chubby skin

is just hitting the “I can do it all by myself” phase of toddlerhood

spends hours every day putting his United States puzzles together over and over

is the cutest when he is watching and singing along to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse

is terrified of the movie Frozen

has an adorable giggle

 

is turning three too soon. 

.

my to do list

 

was long today. 

I NEEDED to hit Costco.  I haven’t been in months, and I have been putting it off for weeks. 

I also needed to hit the library to pick up a book that I had on hold (the Rent Collector)

Trader Joe’s for laundry detergent

finish the laundry that I started on Saturday (oops.  restarted that load)

make a roast that I put in the fridge last night to thaw

clean my kitchen.

clean.

my.

floors.

wrap up preparations for my FHE lesson on preparing for general conference and my sharing time lesson on the Articles of Faith for next Sunday.

 

But then, some miraculous thing happened that trumped all my plans:

it was 78 degrees today.

I’m not even lying.

and so now I sit in here in my bed, reeking of campfire smoke (roasted hotdogs and marshmallows for dinner), tired from a day of park-playing and duck-feeding and sammamish trail walking/biking,

and completely avoiding the atrocious mess that is downstairs and the costco list and laundry piles and lesson preps that are waiting to greet me tomorrow. 

78 degrees in March doesn’t happen around these parts very often.

the making of a lunch

I am not sure when I hit this point in my life, but the highlight of my weekends is the fact that I don’t have to make 5 lunches in the morning.  for some reason, I really see it as an accomplishment each day after I’ve gotten all the lunches thought-through (no easy task with everyone’s annoying likes/dislikes), organized, and into kids’ backpacks.  I especially look forward to that time on Thursday night when I wrap up Friday’s lunches, knowing that I am “off” for a couple of days.  I may have just leapt for joy just a tiny bit. 

I used to be wholly opposed to completing lunches the night before because I am one who despises sogginess. I can hardly fathom even making sandwiches hours before lunch, let alone an entire day.  gross.  but it has come down to simplicity for me.  and maybe the fact that I don’t really care anymore if my kids’ sandwiches are soggy.  whatever.

one would think that after years and years (and years) of making lunches, that I would have it down-pat; that it wouldn’t be something I dreaded so much.  but nearly every monday morning, I still find myself staring blankly into my pantry or fridge, trying to figure out a lunch plan.  sometimes I even forget the “formula’': something protein, something fruit(y), something crunchy, something fun, something extra (just in case).  I am so thrilled with myself when I remember on sunday afternoon to start planning and get that part of my monday morning taken care of. 

most days, it seems I count the weeks down in the school year based on how many lunches I have left to make. 

nolan has a pretty special field trip tomorrow and, for some reason I feel like field trips deserve special lunches.  I remember as a kid actually going shopping at Revco the night before a field trip and buying the “giant” individual-sized bags of cheetohs and cookies and cans of pop (that I would wrap in tin foil to keep cold) for my lunch.  it was such a treat!  I don’t go to those lengths for field trips for my kids, but I usually ask them if there’s anything special or specific they want in their lunch. 

Nolan requested a pancake sandwich, which is a personal favorite of his.  it was created out of a desire to use up leftover pancakes from breakfast- and maybe a lack of actual bread- one day.  it’s truly just a sandwich made out of chocolate chip pancakes and peanut butter and nutella (and banana slices, if we have them).  because it’s usually something I make to use up old pancakes, it seemed dumb to make pancakes tonight just so he could have a sandwich made out of pancakes.

but since it was a “field trip lunch”, I made the extra effort and made pancakes tonight just for his sandwich tomorrow. 

as I was wrapping up each kids’ lunch, it got me thinking about the mind-bender task it is to make lunches for 4 different children.  it’s certainly not just making 4 lunches. 

let’s start with Elli (right) and Emma’s (left) lunches:

Elli:

• doesn’t like protein
• often brings her lunch container home mostly full
• doesn’t really like anything
• I never get it right
• when I do get it right, I repeat over and over until she hates it
• in this lunch, I have half a pancake sandwich, sliced apples, cubed cheddar cheese (her current “love” that she’ll suddenly despise next week, red jello, and leftover pizookie from something I was doing a trial run on).  I’ll also include pirate’s booty and a protein bar for after school/before track
• loves jello (which I recently found out has 2 grams of protein per serving! yay!  (shhh.  don’t  tell her), fresh fruit, bagels, caesar salad, madsen’s toddler fruit pouches (that cost $1 each)
• hates peanut butter, lunch meat, yogurt, wheat bread, nuts, anything that’s my idea
• is my hardest to please

Emma:

• really should be doing all gluten-free, but it’s so hard to keep that up
• loves pastrami, string cheese, jello (not green!), bagels (no cream cheese!), hummus
• hates cream cheese, yogurt, salads, vegetables, raisins, cheddar cheese
• in this lunch, I have a pastrami sandwich on a bagel, orange jello (doesn’t like green), pizookie, pirates booty
• usually eats everything I put in her lunch, even if she didn’t love it

Nolan (right) and Ray’s (left)  lunches:

Nolan:

• is pretty easy to please, thankfully
• often pays me specific compliments for things I put in his lunch
• loves pancake sandwiches, jello (hopefully blue), sweets, gogurts, bananas inside sandwiches, applesauce, uncrustables, cereal, danimals, cheezits, flavor-blasted goldfish, blueberries
• hates oranges, chewy bagels, a specific flavor of juice box that I keep putting in his lunch
• in this specific lunch, I put a pancake sandwich, chobani yogurt tube, blue jello, pizookie, pirates booty, applesauce

Ray:

• recently got braces and is going through a soft foods phase
• sometimes eats everything I send, other days comes home with more than half his lunch because “he didn’t have time” to eat it
• would be happy with an uncrustable every day or maybe 3 or 4
• in this specific lunch, I put a pancake sandwich, peeled, sliced apples, cheese cubes, pizookie, green jello, pirates booty
• loves danimals, cheese, peanut butter on a spoon, regular goldfish, green apples, smoothies, protein bars
• doesn’t love:  yogurt, cereal, bread-y things

jell-o seems to be the least common denominator

my jell-o shelf in my fridge right now:

come monday, this jell-o shelf will be completely empty
and everybody’s loves/hates will be different. 

I can’t keep up.  only 12 more weeks left of making lunches.

at the gym

Ray begged me to take him with me to the gym tonight.  please?  it had been hailing outside most of the day and he was soaked from playing outside.  he just wanted to go play basketball in the gym.  he promised to bring a book so he wouldn’t be in my way in case there wasn’t any room for him to play basketball.

I reluctantly agreed to let him come him with me.

once at the gym, emma begged me to go to hot yoga with her. 

um, not on your life.

suddenly, playing basketball with ray didn’t seem like such a bad option.  after about 20 minutes rebounding for him, I tried to sneak away to be by myself, but Ray asked if he could come along and “do what I do”. 

off to the treadmills we went. 

I showed him how to get started and pretty soon, he was up to the 8s and 9s, leaving me in the dust at my just-fine-for-me 4. 

after about 20 minutes, I was just barely settling into a nice pace, but Ray was red-faced and dripping sweat and ready to move on to another machine.  maybe the bicycles? 

off we went.  after Ray kicked my pants on the bikes, he was asking where we could go so he could “work on his upper body”? 

how does he even know what his “upper body” even is?

I took him to a few nautilus machines and let him experience some controlled weight-lifting machines for his “upper body”

I was dying when he lifted up his sleeves on his t-shirt so he could watch his muscles getting bigger as he exercised (ok, that took about 20 attempts to spell correctly).

then while we were waiting in the lobby for elli to pick us up, he could not keep his eyes off of his “new” muscles. 

“mom, look!”

the final moment that made me just burst out loud laughing was when we were walking out to the car and he casually says to me, “mom, how do you measure how much muscle you gain after you work out?” 

the truth is, he probably actually did gain some muscle during our workout today.

and I probably gained some weight. 

oh to be a 9-year-old Tarzan

finally…dolphins

The highlight of our Cozumel stop was definitely getting to swim with the dolphins.  You had to be at least 8 years old to do the experience we chose so I hung out with Madsen on the beach while Damon got in the water with the older kids and the dolphins.  I’m not a huge fan of water (or animals) so I was totally fine to “miss out” on this experience.  There wasn’t really a close-up place to watch them and you’re not allowed to take your own pictures so that’s the only thing I felt bad about missing. 

From all accounts, it was pretty awesome.  The 2 dolphins’ names were Audrey and DaVinci.  Each of them got to kiss the dolphin, swim between 2 dolphins holding onto their fins (the dolphin pull), and get pushed up out of the water by the dolphin’s nose coming up under their feet in the water (the dolphin push).  I think the pictures are pretty awesome.

I had no idea that I would be paying hundreds of dollars to get some awesome photos of Ray’s bedhead.  haha.

Elli and Emma are masters of the selfie, dolphin or no dolphin.  almost every single one of their photos was absolutely perfect. 

the dolphin pull:

the dolphin push:

please note: Emma claimed to have gotten the most upright of everyone, but complained that the angle of her photos didn’t represent how great she looked.

Ray’s are simply the best.  Of course he was a natural.

Damon’s not exactly a natural, but his photos may be better than Ray’s.  The kids all got a kick out of how determined his face was.  Damon says this is “business face”.  it’s hard work getting pushed out of the water by a dolphin…when you’re 40. 

after all the kids were done with their dolphin experience, they were begging me to find a way for Madsen to get to pet the dolphin.  For an extra $30-something dollars, Madsen was able to get in the water in a one-on-one session and have the time of his life.  The price was only supposed to include either a kiss or a handshake and one picture, but he was loving it so much, the trainer just let him experience it, and the photographer added all of his pictures to our family CD . The fact that Madsen was willing to get in the water and interact with these potentially scary animals blew me away.  He didn’t even hesitate.  He would ask several more times throughout our trip to “go on the dolphin ride again”. 
(Madsen being kissed by Marina)

I mean really.  how cute is he?  totally worth the $275 I paid for these photos. 

life.

it’s unpredictable.

it’s unfair.

it’s been on my mind a lot today.

you know those days where you’re just feeling blah
and annoyed at dumb things
and you’re tired of doing the same thing day after day
and-you’re not exactly having a pity party-
but you’re just not really seeing the big picture of all that life encompasses? 

and then, bam, you hear about something or read about something
that someone else is facing
and you’re like, “wow.  THAT is hard.  I know a tiny piece of that kind of pain and suffering,
but THAT is hard.”

I am having one of those kinds of days.

a day when my heart is heavy with grief and sadness for a friend who is facing the unthinkable tonight. 

a day that has been full of endless prayers for peace and knowledge for this family

a day that takes me back a few years in my own life when I thought I was facing the unthinkable myself.

a day that has flooded my heart with memories
of how unmistakable my Heavenly Father’s love for me was during that difficult time.

a day that has made me shed tears (of happiness?) at the thought of families being eternal.

a day that has once again humbled me
and reminded me how blessed and grateful I am to be a mother of so many perfect children
and a wife to someone as good as Damon.

and to have the knowledge of God’s perfect plan for all of us
and of life after death and the immediate hope and comfort that brings to me. 

a day that has split me right down the middle
between tremendous worry for my friend and immense gratitude
for the countless blessings in my own life that I take for granted daily. 

a day that will end with a heart heavy and full.

something about emma

Emma keeps all of her handouts from Young Women. 
She’s definitely a saver, that Emma. 
She saves everything. 
every.
thing. 

She (mostly) keeps them in a binder on her desk. 
And she actually has some really cute ones.   
I thought it was weird at first, but now I think it will be kind of cool to have all that when she graduates from YW. 

I recently noticed something else that she does, too: 
she creates a work of art out of her notes from Sunday’s lessons every week. 
They are simple,
but nonetheless pretty impressive. 

Aren’t these cool?

I’m pretty impressed with myself that I recognized the value of these before they hit the recycle bin.